


'Til Our Souls Catch Us Up

by LeChatRouge673



Series: Canon Verse Stories and Wanderings [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Canon Divergent, Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 12:17:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14112168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeChatRouge673/pseuds/LeChatRouge673
Summary: Loghain and Thea prepare for their impending move to Montsimmard, while Thea also tries to come to terms with events unfolding in Amaranthine, and the return of her best friend that she has not seen in many years.





	'Til Our Souls Catch Us Up

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by @missragdoll84 on Tumblr. Set in the Dreamer timeline, before Loghain and Thea visit Cat in Amaranthine.

_Bring on the wonder, bring on the song_   
_I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long_   
_Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong_   
_We pushed you down deep in our souls for too long._

-“Bring on the Wonder” by Susan Enan feat. Sarah McLachlan

 

* * *

 

“ _I AM GOING TO KILL HIM_.”

Loghain sighed, stepping slightly to the side to avoid the pile of blouses Theadosia had tossed haphazardly in the direction of the trunk she was packing. Most of their belongings had already been sent ahead to Montsimmard, and the house she had picked on the shores of Lake Celestine. The Orlesian Warden-Commander had initially insisted that Loghain be assigned to the warden fortress in the region; however, her insistence did not hold up well against the sheer force of Theadosia’s will. They may have been able to dictate Loghain’s move to Orlais, but damned if they would separate him from his Theadosia.

Although, at the moment, he probably would have benefited from some leagues of distance between himself and her current temper.

“Theadosia, love…” he started before catching a poorly thrown slipper, silently grateful her aim was useless when she was in a mood, and more grateful they had already packed the dishes.

“No!” She shot back angrily, sparks flashing in the storm of her eyes. “Do not try and talk me down, Loghain! She could have been killed!”

“But she was not.”

“She could have been!” Theadosia repeated, a slight tremor creeping into her voice that may have been born of rage or fear or a mix of both. “My best friend tried to kill my favorite cousin! And I was not there to stop it.” She sat down hard on the edge of their bed, burying her face in her hands. Loghain sat beside her, wrapping his arms around her and pressing a kiss to her hair before resting his head on hers.

“You cannot always be there, Theadosia,” he pointed out quietly. “And if you read between the lines in Cataline’s letter, it sounds as though Nathaniel never truly intended to hurt her. Granted, she may be trying to soften the words so that you do not fly off the handle…” There was a small snort of skepticism from against his chest, and Loghain squeezed her tighter against his chest briefly before he continued. “Theadosia, you told me that he loved her, once. And that she still loves him, if possible even more than she did before he left. Do you think the years he has been away have changed him so much that he would honestly harm her in any way?”

Theadosia pulled away and stood, stepping towards the window and looking out over the sea. He knew it would be difficult for her, leaving their house by the sea in favor of one further inland. The house on the lake had been a reluctant compromise, and part of him felt a strong undercurrent of guilt that it was because of him they were being relocated at all. At the same time, however, he felt a warmth and utter sense of wonder that Theadosia was willing to give up so much simply to stay at his side.

Maker, but he loved her.

“He did not have to lay a finger on her to hurt her, Loghain,” Theadosia finally spoke up softly. “I can read between the lines as well: whatever has passed between the two of them, Cat’s heart has been broken.” She shook her head, long auburn waves shifting over her back. “It should have been me, Loghain. I should have been the one to kill Rendon Howe. I told you once that I would bear no regret for his death; I meant it then and I mean it now. And it would have spared Cataline from having to tell the man she loves that she is responsible for his father’s death. I would have rather lost my best friend than have her suffer what she is enduring now.”

Loghain rose from the bed and came to stand beside her, wrapping his arms around her waist and brushing a kiss against her cheek as she leaned back into his embrace. “Theadosia, it was not her fault any more than it was yours. If he should blame anyone, it should be me.”

She shook her head slightly, her chest rising and falling with an almost imperceptible sigh. “No, love. Rendon was a monster. I know I cannot blame him for everything that went wrong last year, but I can sure as the void lay more than enough of it at his feet. You may have opened a window, but he was the one who jumped through it. I wish Nathaniel could understand that.” Theadosia straightened and stepped out of his arms and back towards her dresser to continue packing. “As it stands, however, it seems that Nate has taken a page out of my book and let his temper speak before his brain. Whatever his intentions… I am not certain I can forgive him for breaking Cat’s heart.”

“Breaking her heart,” Loghain reached out and took her hands in his before she could abuse any more of her delicates, “Or for not being here to see the truth? For abandoning you both in the first place?”

Theadosia’s shoulders drooped slightly, and she allowed her head to fall against his chest. He did not need to see the tears to know that she was quietly weeping. “It was not his fault. Rendon wanted him out of the way; wanted to be able to focus on Thomas, who was always the favorite. You know that as well as I do. He sent Nathaniel to the Free Marches to squire under Ser Rodolphe, and even though we kept in touch for the first few years, eventually the letters became fewer and further between. Then they stopped coming altogether. I missed him, but my grief tended towards anger, whereas for Cat… for Cat it was always a quiet pain. A long, simmering heartache that I could not help her with.”

Loghain leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead before gesturing to the window seat. “Sit,” he ordered gently. He knew she must be exhausted, because she did not argue, instead curling up with her knees pulled up to her chest. He reached into the top drawer of his dresser and retrieved a bottle of her favorite whiskey. “I was going to save this for tomorrow, for our last night in Denerim… but I think it would serve you better now.”

“It is possible you know me too well, my love,” she laughed drily. “But you do realize I have already packed the glasses.”

“As if that has ever stopped us,” he offered her a small smile, and she laughed more brightly, accepting the bottle and stretching her legs out over his lap as he sat beside her. She took a long drag from the bottle before passing it over to him with a soft sigh.

“I may still have to kill him, you know.”

“I don’t think it will come to that, Theadosia,” Loghain shrugged, taking a long drink. “When was that letter dated?”

“About a week ago,” Theadosia frowned slightly. “Odd that this is the first I am hearing about Nate. From this letter it sounds like she found him right after the attack on the Vigil her first day there. That was three months ago. _Why_ exactly am I just hearing about this now?”

Loghain could hear the temper rising in her voice again, and he handed her back the whiskey, waiting until she’d taken another deep drink before he spoke again. “If I had to guess, Sweetheart? Probably because she knew you would react exactly like you are now. She was giving him time to readjust to his new reality before he had to face you.”

She sniffed quietly, and he reached out to brush away the single tear that fell from her eyes. She looked at him, and he could see the pain that she had spent so long pushing down in her heart.

“He was my best friend, Loghain. I loved him like a brother; void, he _was_ my brother. How did everything go so wrong…” Theadosia leaned back against the wall, her eyes drifting back out over the sea and the setting sun. “Think she forgave him?”

“She forgave me,” he reminded her softly.

“But she loved him,” Theadosia reached out and laced the fingers of her free hand with his. “Not to say that she did not grow to love you as well, but this was, _is_ , different. She has always had a kinder nature than I have, but even still… I have to wonder.”

“She let him go,” Loghain pointed out. “She could have kept him locked up, or had him executed, or even just outright conscripted him if she had been of a mind, but she did not. She let him leave with what family heirlooms he had left.”

Theadosia’s eyes met his, the storm blue calmed somewhat. “And he came back. He voluntarily joined the Wardens, even though he could have just left.” She took another sip from the bottle before passing it back to him. He could tell she was starting to grow sleepy, the whiskey smothering whatever fire had been smoldering in her heart. “He came back. Maybe… Loghain, do you think there’s still a chance they’ll figure it out?”

He held out his arms and waited until she had shifted on the windowseat and settled into his arms, her head nestled against his shoulder. He reached up a hand to stroke her hair, and he could feel her breath grow slow and even. “I would like to think so, Theadosia,” he murmured quietly. “After all: we did. Even given everything that has happened, I would not have walked any other path than the one the Maker put me on because it led me to you. And who knows? One of these days I may even make an honest woman of you.”

A soft, sleepy laugh rose from her lips as she leaned up to kiss him.

“One of these days, I may just let you.”


End file.
